What Makes Costa Rica the Happiest Country
In The World?
By Greg Gutfeld
Over the weekend I was sunning myself by the
pool, surrounded by everything that makes me
happy (my masseuse Roderigo and a
hollowed-out gourd), when an intriguing
report was released. It ranked the happiest
nations.
According to the "Happy Planet Index," Costa
Rica had the "highest life satisfaction" in
the world.
Guatemala, which is somewhere, came in
second.
America came in at 114th.
OK, let's examine Costa Rica, whose main
source of income is tourism. Who goes there?
Americans. So without miserable jerks like
me who need to snorkel nude and do coke off
the backs of shaved mules, Costa Rica would
be nowhere.
Guatemala? According to the World Bank,
three quarters of its population lives in
poverty. Yeah, that's happyville.
Forget the list. Let's look at its creator:
the New Economics Foundation. It's a front
for ecological cretins whose corrupt
ideology links happiness to less consumption
— an inhumane lie that most starving
countries would take issue with, if they
weren't busy fighting flies for food.
Who's behind this dishonesty? Nic Marks, the
daffy organization's founder, says less
happy nations must change their ways before
their "high-consuming lifestyles plunge us
into... irreversible climate change."
So there you have it. Unless you embrace
global warming hysteria, your country is
doomed. Please refer this information to all
those Guatemalans and everyone else on the
"happy" list who risk their lives to come
here.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir
are worse than Hitler.
Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red
Eye with Greg Gutfeld"
weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments
to: [email protected]
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