CUBA:
(Some) Men Renounce
Violence Against Women
By Dalia Acosta
HAVANA, (IPS) -
Orlando Berrios, 53,
works over eight hours a
day as a barber in the
Párraga district in the
Cuban capital, and
shares household tasks
with his wife, to the
astonishment of their
neighbours, who regard
him as an "odd
character."
Berrios decided long ago
to break with the
machista pattern of
behaviour that boys and
men are trained to
follow in this society
because, he says, "it is
built on lies and
weaknesses." However,
his point of view is
rare on this Caribbean
island, where dramas of
inequality and violence
against women are played
out behind closed front
doors.
"I’m one of those who
practiced silent
violence. I don’t fight
with my wife or hit my
kids, but I think I am
sometimes violent. I’m
basically a good person,
but I have a terrible
temper," Lázaro Berrios,
Orlando’s 47-year-old
brother, told IPS.
In statements to the
magazine Enfoques,
published by the IPS
bureau in Cuba,
psychologist Mareelén
Díaz said that "people
commonly think that
family affairs, and
particularly incidents
involving violence, are
issues that belong in
the privacy of the home,
even when basic human
rights are being
violated."
Orlando and Lázaro
learned at an early age
to do homemaking jobs in
their large family
living in a low-income
barrio on the outskirts
of Havana. "It takes
more courage to break
with that violent
machista culture than to
remain engulfed within
it," said the elder of
the two brothers.
But they were raised in
an environment that
taught them "a false
concept of manliness,"
according to which, "the
more women you lay, the
more of a man you are,"
said Lázaro, who added
that his history as a
womaniser caused pain to
others and himself.
The rampant sexism in
this society persuades
men that they are
physically, socially and
intellectually superior
to women, which leads
men to devalue and
discredit women. It also
impels men to compete
with each other for
power and success, and
to hide their emotions
and feelings at all
times.
"We’re not superheroes,
we’re just human
beings," Xavier Muñoz,
coordinator of
Nicaragua’s Association
of Men Against Violence
(AHCV), told IPS. "We
should be aware of this,
because we have families
at home who don’t want a
superman but a partner,
father, brother or son
who thinks and feels
like a human being."
"Taking on a sexist role
not only leads to
deterioration of our
physical health and
exposes us to deadly
dangers, it also limits
and even atrophies our
personal development,
and particularly harms
our emotions and
relationships," says a
document by AHCV, a
non-governmental
organisation.
Muñoz and Johnny Jiménez,
of AHCV, facilitated the
first Awareness-Raising
Workshop on Masculinity
and Gender Violence,
organised by the
Workshop for the
Integral Transformation
of the Neighbourhood in
the Havana barrio of
Buenavista and the
non-governmental Oscar
Arnulfo Romero Group for
Reflection and
Solidarity (OAR).
The event was supported
by the international
NGOs Oxfam and Norwegian
People’s Aid (NPA).
The Nov. 27-29 workshop
was attended by about 30
men from different
neighbourhoods in the
capital, including
ordinary citizens who
came out of interest,
religious leaders, and
social workers involved
in local development
projects and community
action.
"In spite of all the
Revolution’s programmes
in support of women and
in favour of gender
equity, there is still
an overwhelming amount
of sexist education and
domestic violence," OAR
coordinator Gabriel
Cordech, who has
diagnosed violence in
society through a number
of studies, told IPS.
"In order to attain a
just society, as the
government and (ruling)
Communist Party intend,
we think it is necessary
to work for the
elimination of existing
forms of violence," he
stressed.
Although Cuba still
lacks reliable
statistics, the
authorities have
acknowledged the
existence of domestic
violence, which
frequently takes the
form of psychological
and emotional blackmail.
In Jiménez’s view, "one
of the great failings of
our (Cuban and
Nicaraguan) revolutions
is precisely the lack of
personal revolution,"
because structural
changes in society have
been given precedence
over the transformation
of individuals’
behaviour and attitudes.
"Real revolution has to
take place within each
individual, every
person, man or woman, so
that social structures
can change," said Muñoz,
who together with
Jiménez has visited Cuba
three times.
The men participating in
the workshop committed
themselves to analyse
the issue in their
homes, share their ideas
with the community,
raise their children to
be peace-loving people
who will forsake the
traditional patterns of
violence, rediscover
fatherhood as an
essential component of
masculinity, and also
re-read the Bible from a
gender perspective.
To break the cycle of
violence, "the first
thing we have to do is
realise that all men are
violent, because of the
way we are socially
constructed," said Muñoz.
"We have to recognise
that the basic cause of
violence is the power I
exercise, as a
macho-man, to dominate
and control women,
nature, and everything
around me."
Jiménez said it was
essential "to stop
making excuses for
violence, because as
long as we continue
justifying it, we’ll
carry on thinking that
it’s the only way to
resolve conflicts."
Orlando Berrios, on the
basis of his experience
as one who has renounced
violence, recommended
"remembering that our
first home was a woman’s
womb. The world is quite
the opposite of what we
were told."
"One way to unlearn
everything negative that
we have assimilated is
to start sowing a
different kind of seed
in the minds of the next
generation of boys and
young men," said Berrios.
"We have to start sowing
another kind of
behaviour, that is more
human and more spiritual
and will make us all
freer." |
