A Confusing Thanksgiving
in Panama
By Matt Landau
Panama City, Panama (The
Panama Report)- I
had been thinking long
and hard about my
invention of a
toothbrush that you
don't have to throw
away, with bristles of
such resistance that
they simply don't wear
old, when I realized it
was November 22nd which,
in the United States, is
the day that fat people
gorge themselves on yams
and turkeys and
cranberries, all in the
name of some Indians or
something.
It was a bit of a pity I
hadn't realized it
sooner but in Panama, we
do not experience the
type of forewarnings to
such days of importance
like we do at home.
In the States, holiday
preparations start long
before the actual event
so that by the time it's
arrived, you really have
no excuse but to be all
festive and geared up. I
recall a time shopping
in a large discount
grocery store-the type
of place with tall
ceilings and toothpaste
for sale in industrial
sized crates-where a
junior nativity scene
had been set up near the
entrance.
There was fake snow
which looked like wet
cotton, covering an
astroturf sort of phony
grass, atop of which was
this cute little manger
with, of all things, a
talking Jesus.
The display was
motion-activated, so
when you walked past,
Jesus would lift his
head, as if waking up
from a terrible dream,
and shout some sort of
commands-I'm really not
sure what he was saying
but I'm pretty sure it
was something about
gifts. The point was, my
mind had been
conditioned, by a
talking Jesus, to be
ready for the Christmas.
The talking Jesus was
also advertising a
special on laundry
detergent, but that's
beside the point.
In Panama though, as
people here don't
celebrate many American
holidays, keeping up to
date with these things
can be difficult. And
more difficult can be
explaining to locals
just what our holidays
are all about. You never
realize how little you
know about your home
country until you have
to explain it to an
outsider.
"What is it about, your
Thanksgiving?" asked
curious Elida, one of
our maids.
It was a fair question
really, albeit not one
I'd heard for a very
long time.
"Well, the Thanksgiving
is for to celebrate
family" I said commonly.
"For to celebrate family
and country and ...oh
shit." Simple words like
harvest and native
indians were somehow
escaping me, much less
the concept of a
ritualistic vigil at
Plymouth rock. I had
been pressed into the
position of representing
the traditions and
history of an entire
nation, not unlike an
ambassador, except I
wasn't getting paid.
Kevin decided to help me
out. "The Thanksgiving
is first thanks to the
pilgrim men," he chimed.
"The pilgrim men and
pilgrim women. Yep. they
were nice, the
pilgrims."
As he finished his last
breath, I realized it
probably would have been
less confusing if Kevin
hadn't said anything at
all. And to make matters
worse, Keenan decided to
contribute to our
riveting information
session.
"The Thanksgiving in US
of A is just for to have
football games and
everybody eats
one...chicken.
Everybody!"
If I had never been to
the United States, like
Elida, I certainly might
wonder seeing as though
(according to us)
everyone takes off the
fourth Thursday of
November so they can
watch football and
worship a large chicken.
The misunderstanding was
less a language barrier
and more, I fear, our
inability to explain our
own holiday as anything
more than family, food,
pilgrim, football and
chicken. While it's a
nice and convenient way
to describe something,
simply listing keywords
has a way of coming off
as terribly uninformed.
But in reality, that's
exactly what we were. |
